3 Reasons Why Writing Is So Scary

As a kid, I was a huge fan of Peter Pan. Walt Disney’s 1953 animated film, Peter Pan, was my introduction into this world of flying kids, rebellious orphans, and evil pirates. Growing up, my brothers and I would reenact this film by transforming our parent’s living room into the magical island of Never Land through makeshift blanket forts and pillow isles. Depending on my play partner, I would either be forced to play the antagonist Captain Hook, surrendering the lead role to my persuasive (and stronger) older brother, or the protagonist, Peter Pan, giving my younger brother the opportunity to shine in the often losing role. So it isn’t a shock when I tell you that one of my favorite movies growing up was “Hook” starring Robin Williams as Peter Pan and Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook. The first time I saw this movie wasn’t in theaters when it came out in 1991, but when my parents bought it for us on VHS years later. I’m surprised I didn’t burn a hole through the Mylar ribbon tape by watching, rewinding, and watching the movie over and over again. This movie had everything a kid would ever want in a film: action, comedy, suspense, and the infectious “RU-FI-O” chant. However, what I liked the most about this movie was the story. It was so different from its animated counterpart. This was the first time that I recognized what a story was and the mastery behind being able to tell it. The ability to create a story was, and still is, so fascinating to me. Through storytelling, you can bring life to new worlds or influence the minds of your readers just by using the words on a page. This is why I want to get into writing. Every story starts with writing, regardless of the end product, be it a stage play, television show, or feature film. Being able to create new stories through writing is such a powerful skill. A skill I hope to master one day. A skill I hope to make my profession. As a new, burgeoning writer, the excitement and fulfillment of writing comes with a certain amount of fear. In one of my very first non-fictional post on this platform (check out my first fictional story called The Mound), I explain the three reasons why writing is so scary to me.

Writing forces you to be vulnerable.

One common nightmare that a lot of us have is the dream where you are naked in a public setting. Why is this situation so terrifying? Why is the idea of being naked in front of strangers such a frightening scenario? My hypothesis is the vulnerability of exposing your true self. When you’re naked in public, there is no hiding who you are. Strangers are given access to every nook and cranny of your body. They can see every imperfection. They can see every insecurity in its full glory. You are completely exposed. This is what writing is like for me. Writing is inherently an intimate activity. To be a good writer, you have to write about something of substance that is important and personal to you. That means that you have to expose your thoughts, feelings, and interests on a page for the world to see. You are letting people into parts of yourself that can’t be readily seen by the naked eye. Consequently, writing allows your readers to know more about you on a level than is deeper than just your physical appearance. They are not only getting to peak through a window into your mind, but in some instances, through your soul as well.

I don’t know if I’m good enough to be a writer.

I am an engineer by occupation. I received my Bachelors of Science in Mechanical Engineering in 2009, and my Doctor of Philosophy in Biomaterials Engineering in 2014. I like engineering and I am appreciative of all the opportunities I’ve gotten because of my education. However, engineering is not my passion. I chose engineering because it was a practical path to follow as a major in college. Nevertheless, my real passion is creative writing. I didn’t realize this until I was well into my Graduate studies. Creative writing makes me happy. It has been my healing during hard times and my escape during frustrating situations. Writing is such a vital part of my life. Therefore, in striving to become a professional writer, the idea of failing at it because I’m not good enough is frightening. I know that since it is already a big part of my life, I don’t need to worry about success because I don’t write for money. I do it because it allows me to express myself. But my dream has always been to be able to quit my nine-to-five and be able to support myself through my passion. It has been a dream of mine for years and the possibility of failing because I’m not good enough would sincerely hurt.

Writing could be a waste of time.

Now that I’m in my thirties, I often reflect on my twenties. One of the things I find myself reflecting on is how I wasted so much time not pursuing any of my real interests or not taking advantage of certain opportunities. I focused too much on what I was told I needed to focus on and never focused on what I wanted. That is one of the reasons why I want to pursue this writing life. That is also one of the reasons why I’m scared that I might be wasting my time with this pursuit. I constantly ask myself, what if this doesn’t get me anywhere? What if nothing comes from this? The last thing I want to do is look back on my thirties with the same feeling I have about my twenties. I know I need to shift my mindset on this but I can’t help be worried that I’m making the same mistakes.

With all of that said, I am excited to see where writing takes me. Since I am new to this, I would love all the suggestions and advice I can get. Please leave me a comment of what you thought of this article and what you think I need to work on. Also please check out my first short story, The Mound, and leave a comment on what you think about it as well. My goal for the remainder of this year is to complete one story every month. Please be on the lookout for them!